At the GDC last February, Epic Games announced, and revealed the trailer
for Gears of War 2. According to Epic’s lead designer, “Gears 1 was just a set-up, an appetizer for all the characters, the environments, the game play mechanics where introduced in the first. Gears 2 is going to be bigger, better, and far more bad ass than the first game in every way.”
There is not a greater question among men today, that causes as many fights, and as many debates, as the question of Import vs. Domestic (American) Cars.
Although the answer to which car is better, I admit, is strictly OPINION, I also know that I am smarter than you are, and my opinion is the one that matters.
These herein are Laws of Man, known as Man Law, which are the laws by which Man must live his life. MAN LAW!
1. No wasted beer in the name of humor.
2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control
3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her it’s a 6 day waiting period.
4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full responsibility of driving his friend’s home)
5. Short shorts have been banned… Unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.
6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.
7. If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can’t be considered cheating. However…if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either… A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.
8. No one should ever steal a man’s alcohol from that man’s cooler…this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.
9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man’s responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.
10. No heavy fornication in a friend’s bed. Or just wash the sheets.
11. No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can’t carry the bag then you’re not a man.
12. If another man’s fly is down, you didn’t see anything and may not make a comment about it.
13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrower puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticeable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey…who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn’t yours.
14. When your friend picks up a hot girl…however the hot girl has an ugly friend…it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you got to do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be replayed.
15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.
Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver’s decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really shitty and the owner doesn’t care about muddy seats.
16. It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.
17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.
18. You poke it you own it.
19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.
20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.
21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count… rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.
22. A man shall never wear any article of women’s clothing (I.E … Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet… or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants… (Or any other article of clothing).
23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violator of this law, should pop his collar.
24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.
25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty.
26. All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegetarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms “diet”, “fat free”, or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of “watching his weight” or dieting.
27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.
28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple “OOPS”, “My Bad”, or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say “I’m Sorry”
29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend’s girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or “together.” If they are separated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.
30. under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt at getting some tang. Let’s just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and will result in the title Manbitch.
31. Every man should watch sports center at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.
32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman’s ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesn’t mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used is said male is over 6′ 5″ 250lb. or an ufc cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it (Cameron Ross, Nick Polyzos, Kristina Brockmann, and Drew Westerfield).
33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother’s day, Birthday’s, or St. Patrick’s day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.
34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to Manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships.
35. Women can’t drive.
36. In the court of Man Law the statement “I was Drunk” will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant’s blood alcohol level exceeds .10.
37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of “Manbitch” from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law…or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly…and what is not.
38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the military should at least support the troops, even if you don’t agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support
39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. Modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.
40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.
41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal.
42. A man will not live in his parent’s house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.
43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman “do you like this”. And the right to leave the room.
44. Sex is more important then talking
45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.
46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking.
47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat
48. Men will invite other men to Man Law
49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because “it’s not their brand.”
50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.
51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes.
52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza.
53. If you spill a man’s beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup.
54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you can’t drink it in said time, don’t open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review.
55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped.
56. It is never a man’s responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbor’s lawn.
57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer.
58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway.
59. The bachelor’s party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment).
60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. It’s understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality.
61. A man purse is still a purse. (David Emadi)
62. No man shall dance for fun unless it’s to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex.
63. Body paint is only acceptable on a man if it’s on game day and to support his team.
64. No man shall bring a woman to the guy’s night out. this is punishable by verbal abuse for life.
65. If you do not sweat, it’s not a sport. (People sweat during Beer Pong.)
66. If a large snake catches a man off guard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once.
67. No man shall wear a beret unless it’s for his military service.
68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone.
69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man.
70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex.
71. The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want” gets an Xbox. End of story.
72. Keeping beer from other’s by hiding it in the fridge is not permissible. Besides, sharing is caring.
73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only.
74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a “higher” man.
75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand.
76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men.
77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone.
78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth.
79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch.
80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice.
81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, Lacrosse, or Ice Hockey.
82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable…any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal…exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys.
83. Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler…ever…unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavored that comes in a bottle.
84. Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female.
85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. Anna Kournikova gets married.
86. When watching a “catfight” it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing.
87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-to-eye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away.
88. No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man.
89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions.
90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her.
91. Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monte Cristo, CAO (Cade Mayo).
92. No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined (Eric Gartenberg).
93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. (Boots Jones)
94. When questioned by a friend’s girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
96. A best man’s toast may not include any of the following phrases, “down in Tijuana”, “one time when we were all piss drunk”, or “and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw”.
97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out “bullshit!” (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)
98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy’s refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.
100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered “lucky” are not applicable in this case.
101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he’s trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.
102. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friend’s birthday is optional)
104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriend’s cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask whose playing. You should know such things.
106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.
107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.
108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours… unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.
109. You can not rat out a friend who show’s up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.
110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly “just a friend”, go at it, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.
111. Everybody is Irish on St. Patricks Day. And as such said people must consume alcohol on St. Patricks Day. Green and/ or gold body paint may be worn, but no glitter.
112.When passing another man in a tight area were contact is possible, hole to hole or pole to pole is only acceptable. If it is pole to pole no eye contact should be made. If any detour from this is spotted by any onlooking men, possible labels such as “Fag” may be deamed necessary. Resulting immediate demotion in man status.
. .After a year and a half of the Nintendo Wii being released inside the United States, it may finally become possible for anybody to get their hands on one. Nobody knows for sure why the Nintendo Wii was so hard to find here in the states, but one reporter, Victor Godinez of the Dallas Morning News, thinks the fault lies in the weakness of the declining value of the U.S. dollar.
Its not every day that a band straight out of High School shows its face and makes an impact on the music scene as big as The Dangerous Summer. Three out of the Five members of this band are just barely out of High School, graduating in the class of 2007, and weren’t even legal adults at the time of release of their debut album If You Could Only Keep Me Alive.
Originating from Ellicott, Maryland, this band has been playing together since Middle School, although they have been through different names, members and other changes, they got back together in August of 2006, and starting writing new music and got together with Paul Leavitt (also worked with Senses fail and All Time Low) and recorded their debut album in December of 2006 while some members where still in high school.
This band has a very amazing, addicting sound with a lot of feeling behind it. Influenced by bands such as Third Eye Blind, Bright Eyes, U2, Phil Collins, Explosions in the Sky, Jimmy Eat World, and Andrew McMahon, this band has a unique sound that isn’t heard much in todays music scene.
This band shows a lot of promise and definitely have a serious future in the music industry. Go buy their CD If You Could Only Keep Me Alive now and get obsessed so you can say “I knew them back before they where big”, because its going to happen soon.
Members include:
AJ Perdomo, Cody Payne, Bryan Czap, Tyler Minsberg
Recommended Tracks:
- Of Confidence
- The Permanent Rain
- I Would Stay
- Disconnect
- Every other song this band has ever written.
By defeating Davidson 59-57 in Sunday’s Midwest Regional final, Kansas became the final piece of the most impressive Final Four field ever!
For the first time in history, all number 1 seeds advanced to the semi-final round known as the Final Four, which should make for the most exciting and most anticipated weekend in March Madness History.
Have you ever been in the stressful situation where you stand in a checkout line for 7 hours and then finally get to the register and you try to swipe your credit card but your card isn’t accepted? You know your card is valid, but the stupid little machine thinks it isn’t. If this is a common problem for you, next time you are at the register try this easy remedy…
Google Adsense, is more of a Art then a Science, and so although there are no right ways to set up the Adsense units to your page, there definitely are some ways that are better than others. So although this page has many different pieces of advice to help you figure out the ideal setup for your Adsense units, it will still take a lot of testing and rearranging your ads to see what works best for you.
Websites are great ways to earn a little bit of extra passive income, or potentially a lot of passive income. If you have a website or weblog, there are many ways you can earn a little extra revenue just by adding a few well placed ads on your page.
In my opinion, it is best to develop your site or blog, “SEO” it, and start to get a healthy flow of traffic before you start to add ads onto it, but it definitely doesn’t hurt to add them right away as well.
Adsense
If you dont know what Google’s Adsense is, then you need to get out more (maybe that saying is the opposite in this situation). Adsense is definitely a must have for most websites and blogs. Basically Adsense is a PPC program through Google, where you put text or simple image ads onto your site, and you get paid depending on how many clicks those ads get, along with eCPM.
LinkWorth
Linkworth is a great advertising program, that allows you to use a wide variety of advertising mediums. Through LinkWorth you can set up “Linkads” (text link ads) “LinkPosts” (paid blog reviews similar to PayPerPost), “linkwords” (in content PPC ads), “Linkintext” (in text link ads, similar to Kontera), as well several other Rotating ad units, etc, and a ton of tools and programs to help you out as well. This, along with Google Adsense is my favorite ad program.
PayPerPost
This one is one of my personal favorites. Basically advertisers will pay you a set amount to write a post of certain length about their product. Once approved you go to the PPP marketplace and go through all different listings and pick a topic to post about and they will pay you for it. The advertiser will decide the amount you will get paid, as well as their desired format, and tone (if the review will be positive or negative towards their product).
Text Link Ads
Text link ads are nice, because they aren’t necessarily advertisements like Adsense, but a list of links you can put on your page that don’t bother readers, and are nice for advertisers because the links provide them with traffic and search engine benefits. Your link price is set based on Alexia, Google Pagerank, number of RSS subscribers, and other factors.
Deal Dot Com
Deal dot Com is a site that sells marketing/online business products and software, but what is really cool about it, is you make a 35% commission off whatever anybody buys, who you refer to their site, as well as a 15% commission off anybody THEY refer as well. Unlike other similar affiliate programs such as AuctionAds, who only pays 5% commission and for 6 months, Deal dot com commission is forever. So if you refer somebody today, and they buy something 10 years from now, you still get paid.
Kontera Contentlink
Kontera Contentlinks allow you to advertise on your page without having to give up any space for advertisements. Basically, Kontera will crawl your pages, and turn certain words into a link to an advertisement related to that word. You have probably seen them around on several popular websites, when you hover your mouse over the link a small box will pop up in the form of an advertisement.
Review Me
Review Me can be a very huge money maker for a prestigious website. Simply put, companies will pay you to write reviews and/or articles about their product on your site for a somewhat negotiable price set by you.
Shopping Ads
ShoppingAds allows you to make money by displaying merchant ads on your website relevant to the content on your page. When your visitors click on the ads you can make money on a CPC (cost per click) or CPA (cost per acquisition) basis. Basically, you tell them the relevant keywords of merchant ads you want displayed and they will display a matching ad. These ads are especially good for product review blogs or an online store.
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. .This is my NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Bracket (as of 3/24/2008). I of course had a few upsets, and this definitely isn’t my best bracket by far. My problem is I am so biased towards certain teams and it usually comes back to haunt me…(I usually have Duke and Gonzaga in the lead 8, and often further than that. I still think North Carolina can win it even though Top Seed teams usually don’t…
